Episodes 1 and 2, plus THE RULES

Time and space are famously nebulous concepts in the world of The Simpsons, even moreso than our own, and though there isn't much that can be done to assess the spatial dimensions of their universe, the temporal are far easier. By which I mean we can, with a whole load of episode rewatching and note-taking, figure out exactly when each episode takes place. Of course, I don't expect it'll take much more than two seasons before things start to contradict each other, and everything falls apart, but that's part of the fun, isn't it?

So, that's what this blog is: an attempt to put every episode of The Simpsons on a timeline, including flashbacks and flashforwards. There's a few rules I'm going to be sticking to, to make things a little easier to follow, too:

1 - Unless explicitly stated otherwise, an episode starts on the day after the previous episode ends, even if this contradicts real world events and/or customs.
2 - Rule 1 still applies betweeen seasons, for two reasons. The first is that the characters don't age between seasons, so there's no reason to assume that a year has passed, and the other is the 2-part cliffhanger Who Shot Mr. Burns?, which takes place at the end and beginning of the fifth and sixth seasons, respectively.
3 - In episodes set in the present day, Bart and Lisa are always ten and eight years old, and their birthdays are always their tenth and eighth birthdays (unless there's evidence that says otherwise).
4 - Treehouse of Horror episodes, similar episodes such as Simpsons Tall Tales and Simpsons Bible Stories, and clip show episodes generally aren't considered part of the timeline, unless they have framing stories, which will be tackled on a case-by-case basis.

I think that's everything, so let's get started with the first few episodes of season one! The first episode is The Simpsons Christmas Special, or Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire, which is helpful, as it gives us a firm starting point: Homer's side job as a mall Santa pays on Christmas Eve, then he immediately goes to the dog track, befire eventually returning home with Santa's Little Helper at the end of the episode. So, the first episode ends on the night of the 24th of December, 1989. Before watching it for this blog, I hadn't seen this episode in many years, and it's really different.

I know the difference between old and new Simpsons is well-explored territory on the internet, but there's still a few things I'd like to say on the matter. Firstly, there's a lot of affection in this episode, with the love between Homer and Bart feeling especially sincere. There's also a nice moment later one, with Lisa sat on Grandpa's lap watching TV. Generally, this humble start also doesn't feel like a billion dollar media franchise, either: I'd compare it more to those animated specials they used make of characters from newspaper comic strips in the 1970s and 80s. I'll be a little reasonable with the rules, and assume that no-one's going to work or school on Christmas Day, so, we'll start counting the dates in the second episode, Bart The Genius, from the 26th.

So, Bart's class has the aptitude test on the 26th, he starts attending the Enriched Learning Center for Gifted Children on the 27th, and after a couple of unhappy days, blows up the lab and dyes himself green on the 29th, with the episode ending on that night. Bart turning green is actually my earliest memory of The Simpsons, from when the show first aired in the UK in 1990, when I would have been 4 years old! Anyway, what I took from watching this episode again today is that Bart was the only person at the Learning Center to display any real intelligence, when he comes up with the "going undercover" plan to get back to Springfield Elementary. The kids there are all just reciting memorised tricks rather than showing any actual intelligence, and the adults are simply obseesed with the stereotypical trappings of intelligence, like shunning popular culture or deifying intellectuals of the past. Anyway, back on topic, Bart is green, naked and reading a comic, and it's the night of the 29th of December, 1989. This post is already pretty long, since it started with an explanation of this whole endeavor, so I'll end it here, though the next post onwards will detail three episodes a pop. Hopefully you'll keep reading!