Thursday, October 4, 2018

Episodes 8, 9, and 10


It's the 31st of January, 1990 as The Telltale Head starts. Well, it would be, if we weren't starting in media res, at a later point in the story, with Bart and Homer chased by an angry mob in the middle of town, before Bart tells the mob how they came into possession of the haed of Jeremiah Springfield. His story starts on "Sunday morning", so I guess if this is the earliest point, this is the actual 31st of January? We'll have to keep counting to see on what day the start of the episode takes place. The Simpsons are going to church and Sunday school, and there's a nice little bit where Homer's listening to the radio, which syncs up perfectly with everything that's going on around him. Marge admonishes Homer for gambling in the car back home. No wonder he throws it in her face when she becomes a gambling addict later on!

I'm pretty sure this is the first appearance of Dolph, Kearny and Jimbo, appearing sans Nelson. They sneak into the cinema, steal stuff from Apu, throw stones at Jeremiah, and look up at the clouds. Weirdly, the cloud that looks like "a guy with a switchblade in his back" looks exactly like Hans Moleman. Is that his first appearance? I can't remember, but that'd be extra strange if it was. Anyway, they laugh at Bart for defending Jeremiah's honour, leading him down the path towards decapitation. Bart went out straight after church, so all this (and the crime itself) has happened on the 31st. One of those endless childhood afternoons, how nice! The news breaks on the morning of the 1st of February, and the entire town, including Dolph, Kearny and Jimbo, are all inexplicably distraught at the petty vandalism. Even Krusty calls the act an atrocity and encourages the kids at home to grass on the suspect if they know who it is!

On the 2nd, the Simpsons are watching a very cheap-looking documentary on TV when Bart confesses his crime to them, leading he and Homer to attempt to take the head back to its rightful place, and also leading back to the opening scene so I guess that answers that question! Bart replaces the head, is forgiven by the townspeople, Smithers expresses his affection towards Mr. Burns for the first time, and the episode ends. I should also mention that throughout the Telltale Head, Homer was looking through a bowling ball catalogue, which is an interesting bit of foreshadowing and rare piece of inter-episode continuity leading into the next episode, Life on the Fast Lane, which naturally starts on the 3rd of February, which I guess is Marge's birthday, too! Bart's got her a huge $4 bottle of "french perfume", while Lisa has made an incredibly ornate piece of dried pasta art. Homer, of course, has nothing, and hastily has to go out and get something: a fancy bowling ball! (See, foreshadowing!)

There's a shop in the Springfield Mall that sells nothing but jerky and sausages. That sounds amazing! Less amazing is The Singing Sirloin, the restaurant where Patty and Selma take the family, whose waiters are constantly singing, though they do reveal that it's Marge's 34th, so at this point in time, she was born on the 3rd of February, 1956. I'm sure that'll change later on at some point, though. Homer's present, not just a bowling ball, but one engraved with his name, goes down like a turd in a salad, predictably. On the 4th, Marge goes bowling, attracting the attention of housewife's favourite, bowling expert and cad, Jacques. While Marge is out getting wood, Homer and the kids eat pizza in awkward silence at home. The next night, as Jacques drives Marge home and invites her to brunch, the moon looks like a bowling ball, which is a nice touch.

Paradoxically, the 6th is a Wednesday, despite the 31st of January being a Sunday. But if we were going to let logic get in our way, we wouldn't be trying to apply a consistent timeline to The Simpsons, would we? At brunch, we meet Helen Lovejoy for the first time (I think. I should do a better job at remembering these first appearances, shouldn't I?), and Marge has fantasies of luxury and decadence when Jacques invites her to another date at his apartment at Fiesta Terrace. Homer is genuinely depressed at the apparent falling apart of his marriage, which Lisa (and eventually Bart) also starts to notice. On the drive to Fiesta Terrace, Marge just happens to go past many, many loving couples, changes her mind, and goes to see Homer instead, and the episode ends with them going to have sex in the back of the car. How romantic! That's during the afternoon of the 7th of February, starting the next episode, Homer's Night Out on the 8th.

Homer's already joking about women at work finding him attractive! That session in the power plant carpark must have been something special to get them so thoroughly back on track so quickly. Anyway, Bart orders a spy camera from a mail order catalogue and there's a "six months later" onscreen caption. So now it's the 8th of August 1990! Amazing! This Friday, Homer's going to the stag party of his former assistant/current supervisor, Eugene Fisk. Also, Bart's camera finally arrives, and he instantly takes embarassing photos of Homer and Marge, plus some roadkill and his own bum. I guess it's now Friday, too? We'll bend the rules and say that Homer announcing his attendance of the stag party was yesterday, and it's now the 9th. The rest of the family are having their tea in the pirate-themed family restaurant next door. Faced with the prospect of eating tentacles, Bart wanders off, finds the stag party, and photographs Homer dancing with the stripper, Princess Kashmir. The line "I'm sorry, I don't usually laugh like this" reveals some kind of deep underlying ennui in Homer's life, at the same time. Maybe.

On what I assume must be Monday the 12th, Bart develops his photos at school, and the photo of Homer and the Princess starts getting copied and passed around by every boy in the place, and eventually their dads and all the other men in town. I guess pictures of pretty girls were hard to come by in 1990 middle America? Also, Apu acts like he's never met Homer, which doesn't really make sense, unless all the characters just came into existence fully formed at the start of the series. At this point (which by my reckoning is the very next day), everyone in town's seen the picture and Homer's a celebrity. Also, Marge is up on her high horse about Homer dancing at a party, so I guess her memory of her own actions doesn't stretch back as far as the previous episode, even though it was six whole months ago, and Homer has to go and stay with Barney. At work the next day, Mr. Burns asks Homer for the secret to sexual attractiveness, and that night Homer goes home to make peace.

It turns out that the actual reason Marge was upset was that Homer was setting a bad example for Bart, objectifying women. Which is actually reasonable, and he takes Bart on an accidental tour of the town's many strip clubs, so they can meet Princess Kashmir and show that she's a real person and not just a sex object. Her real name's Jana Tifften, it turns out! Of course, this all ends up with Homer dangling from a cage as Jana is acting as part of the scenery for the lounge singer Gulliver Dark's stage show. As Homer enjoys being a part of the show, he comes to realise the bad example he's setting, and stops the show to deliver a speech on respecting women. Also, Mr. Burns and Smithers are in attendance with two identical women, which is an interesting arrangement. Homer's speech makes all the men in the club realise the error of their ways, and the episode ends there, on the night of the 14th of August, 1990! Homer's Night Out aired on the 25th of March that year, so we're technically now in the future!

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